A day in the life… In-Home Family Consultants

The mission of a Boys Town Family Consultant is to prevent children from being removed from their homes. They instruct parents (and other family members) how to make and keep their home safe and how to care for their children in healthy, positive ways. Family Consultants help at-risk families get on track so children can find success at home, in school and in the community.

Boys Town Consultants conduct sessions and provide support in the family’s home. A family’s individual situation determines how long and how often a Family Consultant will provide services. A Consultant could work with a family from two to six months with and spend up to 20 hours a week with them.

In some cases, keeping children in the home means helping parents solve small problems before they turn into big problems. In others, it means replacing bad patterns of behavior that threaten a child’s safety or hinder success with more positive, child-oriented behaviors.

Our approach to in-home family care focuses on family members’ strengths – what they do well – and how these strengths can help them make necessary changes. Family Consultants must be able to adapt to each family they serve by recognizing its unique situation and then applying our research-proven treatment methods to help the family achieve its goals.

Family Consultants begin their work by teaching families new skills and improving the ones they already have. They end their work when families are empowered to make good decisions and solve problems on their own. We believe most families have the basics they need to fix their problems; our Consultants simply provide the tools that will help them get where they want to go. These tools can include community resources families can turn to for assistance, both during and after Boys Town services.

The work can be difficult, but it is most certainly rewarding. A Family Consultant once described the process as “dropping stones in to the center of a lake and waiting for the ripples to reach back to the shore.”

Many times, the true impact of a Consultant’s work is not immediately apparent. The greatest reward comes when a parent whose case long has been closed calls to say that his child who had refused to go to school has graduated high school. Or when a boy who could not sit still and constantly hit his mom and sisters calls with an invitation to his Bar Mitzvah. That’s when Family Consultants can add the word “healer” to the list of roles they fill.

Everyone wants to be heard

While her work as a Boys Town Family Consultant can involve complex issues, Kim Durbin believes one of the best ways to help keep families together is simple – she listens.

“Everyone wants to be heard, so listening is important,” said Durbin. “When families feel like everyone else is ignoring them or has given up, I hope I can change that by lending an ear, offering empathy and encouraging more effective ways to deal with their issues and concerns.”

Durbin has been a Boys Town Family Consultant since 2008 and currently works with 13 families whose children are at risk for out-of-home placement. Listening plays a large role throughout Durbin’s involvement with her Boys Town families. From noting each family member’s initial needs to working through issues with courts and counselors, she learns about each family and what can be done to help parents and children live together in a happy and healthy way.

“When I work with families who are struggling, I listen to their stories and offer them simple, common sense solutions that, with practice and consistency, can make an enormous impact on their lives,” said Durbin. “As long as the members of my families can maintain control, they are able to reap the benefits of change.”